Ensuring Cultural Change in America’s Workplace

Could the culture of the American workplace be changing at last? In an article by the Editorial Board of the New York Times, a path is illuminated to help make sure it does.

It is important to understand that the issue of harassment goes well beyond sexual assault. The points being made in the article are dead on, i.e. the complicity of bystanders and the need for cultural transformations. For those who want to make a real difference, my book, From Bully to Bull’s-Eye: Move Your Organization Out of the Line of Fire, provides advice to the bystanders on how to become witnesses, defenders, protectors and activists.

Michelle Ye Hee Lee and Elise Veebeck, in a Washington Post column, reveal how sexual-harassment victims in Congress can feel pressured because of loyalty and a confusing reporting process. It is disgraceful that Congress resists anti-harassment training, a process every other department of the government requires. Given that the seat of real power rests with those in office, this training, or lack thereof, should be revisited.

It is important to note from a practical perspective that following up on any infractions is crucial to successful cultural transformation. In my experience, at the whiff of any inappropriate behaviour, I speak directly with the person involved about what I heard, without any accusation. However, when they invariably try to argue, I cut the challenge off by saying something like, “Please don’t deny what I am hearing - and if you are doing anything that could be causing the noise - stop.” In over 99% of the cases I have dealt with this way, the noise and what caused the noise stopped - always satisfying those who were targeted.

These action steps are very likely the only ways that inclusivity and diversity can replace the current culture of bullying and harassment that dominate most companies and organizations in North America today.

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Emotional Intelligence Enables People to Have Critical, Successful and Difficult Conversations

Having difficult conversations is inevitable. Having successful discussions about difficult topics is challenging, if not seemingly impossible at times. Engaging in these conversations is a skill well worth developing. David Brooks, in this New York Times article, provides some useful advice for today’s tough climate.

In these conversations people should point out what they do and do not agree with. Expressing that someone has a legitimate grievance, and suggesting that there may be better ways to handle it, can disarm someone who just expects a fight. We are going through - and it will get worse - a period where the roles of bystanders and activists are critical. In my book, From Bully to Bull’s-Eye: Move Your Organization Out of the Line of Fire, I give guidance on how to go from being a bystander to becoming a protector, defender, resistor and activist.

In my blog, ‘The Importance of Learning to Civilly and Effectively Communicate Disagreement’, I discuss how Emotional Intelligence and living by the Golden Rule greatly enhances your ability to be effective. With the research that we’re engaged in with the Yale Center For Emotional Intelligence, in an initiative called Emotion Revolution in the Workplace, we have validated that emotional intelligence is a tremendous resource in having those critical, difficult discussions, in particular when the ethic of reciprocity is applied.

Having these critical and difficult discussions must also apply to others we have relationships with such as family, vendors, regulators, and communities. There is no question that there is huge discontent for a variety of reasons, which is fuelling the flames of bigotry, polarization, protectionism and extremism. I assert that creating emotionally intelligent schools, workplaces, and associations is perhaps our only hope in stopping the normalization of the abnormal.

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Join the #metoo Movement

Tarana Burke, the woman behind ‘Me Too’ knew the power of the phrase when she created it 10 years ago. Before #metoo went viral, she was using “me too” to reach women of color who survived sexual violence. 

And, it is important to remember that harassment comes in forms in addition to than sexual harassment. Anyone who is targeted should join the Me Too movement. There is no doubt strength in numbers, as uncovered in Lindy West’s Op-Ed piece, should encourage executives and boards to become even more aware of and sensitive to the issue. Now is a golden opportunity for a flood of harassment to get flushed out.

As I wrote in one of my blogs, the issues of sexual harassment are prevalent amongst men as well. Everyone needs to step out and allow his or her voice to be heard. In her recent Op-Ed article, Margaret Renkl describes just how effectively movements succeed when the number of activists increases.

This is already beginning to happen as evidenced in the New York Times article by Adam Nagourney and Jennifer Medina, showing that 140 women have already come forward in California alone!

In another New York Times article by Emily Steel and Michael S. Schmidt, Fox News demonstrated just how disingenuous the Murdock’s were and still are. The fact that Fox News did not deal with O’Reilly at the same time they dealt with Roger Ailes begs the question – why should we believe them now? Miraculously, he was fired, but only after more previously known and covered up incidents were revealed. Fox’s words ring hollow for most women, who were too afraid to come forward after O’Reilly’s contract renewal.

In my book, From Bully to Bull’s-Eye: Move Your Organization Out of the Line of Fire, I discuss the importance of the bystander becoming an activist. The time is ripe for all harassed people to step forward and expose these predators for who they are.

“Bullying and Prejudice in Our Public Life Sets a National Tone”

When John McCain, Barack Obama and George W. Bush publicly appeal to Americans, as McCain pleaded “not to loose our soul”, it is safe to say that democracy is at huge risk.

Everyone should listen to how eloquently they described what is occurring, and the fragility of the checks and balances that most were naively banking on to avoid not what could happen, but what is happening. These thoughts are further echoed in Thomas B. Edsall’s informed opinion in the New York Times yesterday.

I have been regularly blogging about the dangers that the current administration has been creating since its swearing in.

A major factor is, as Bush laid out, “Bullying and prejudice in our public life sets a national tone, provides permission for cruelty and bigotry, and compromises the moral education of children.”

In my book, From Bully to Bull’s-Eye: Move Your Organization Out of the Line of Fire, I discuss the many ways bullying undermines society’s ability to champion inclusivity and diversity, two notions Trump cannot embrace.

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Perks at Work Alone Won’t Change Toxic Cultures

With the spotlight brightening on the need for a return to civility in society, especially in the workplace, as the injustices pile up, as I have highlighted in my blogs, the focus must remain on the unnecessary stress employees endure. In a recent article by Alec Gewirtz in Thrive Global, a number of Fortune 500 companies are making an effort to ease these stresses by including calming activities and other recreational outlets to their employees’ while at work. After all, studies have shown that relieving stress at work increases productivity.

I would suggest, however, that before you ‘buy the ping pong table’, to be sure that the culture of your organization is psychologically healthy enough to successfully implement these perks. In my book, From Bully to Bull’s-Eye: Move Your Organization Out of the Line of Fire, I discuss the many ways bullying produces stress in the workplace. I also offer suggestions on how to handle these difficult situations.

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Harassment - Abuse - Extortion Runs Rampant in Workplaces

In a Washington Post article, Danielle Paquette describes the depressing truth about sexual harassment in America. What is even more depressing is that this same truth holds exists for all forms of abuse, harassment, extortion and exploitation in the workplace. I have been harping about this for close to a decade. In my book, From Bully to Bull’s-Eye: Move Your Organization Out of the Line of Fire, I articulated these very points, something I have continued featuring in articles, and in blogs on my website.

Actor James Van Der Beek reveals he faced sexual harassment by ‘older, powerful men,’ in wake of Weinstein scandal. "I’ve had my ass grabbed by older, powerful men," he wrote. In yesterday’s blog, I discuss Terry Crews’ tale as well as sharing my own experience.

Alyssa Rosenberg’s Washington Post article underscores the complexity of this societal scourge in her headline, ‘For the Harvey Weinstein scandal to mean anything, it will have to get a lot worse.’ I'm disgusted by the allegations against Harvey Weinstein. But if we're ever to have a shot at addressing sexual harassment and sexual assault, we have to accept that he's not an exception. Unfortunately, it’s not just Harvey Weinstein. In fact, his actions can no longer even be considered rare. He just happened to get caught. The latest top Hollywood executive under scrutiny is Amazon Studio’s chief Roy Price, suspended amid sexual harassment allegations, as revealed in another Washington Post article by Mary Hui.

Anyone who has been abused, harassed, and bullied needs to come forward. The more that do will cause the bullies and predators to think twice before they do it again.

Author: Andrew Faas

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MEN GET SEXUALLY HARASSED, TOO

In a Washington Post article by Emily Yahr, actor Terry Crews says, “a ‘high level Hollywood executive’ groped him. He continued, “This whole thing with Harvey Weinstein is giving me PTSD. Why? Because this kind of thing happened to ME," the former NFL player tweeted.

Mr. Crews, in relaying his reaction to the Weinstein scandal, stated that he is still haunted by what happened to him, and has expressed what most men and women experience long after the event, sometimes for the rest of their lives. I can speak to this because, like Crews, “this kind of thing happened to ME!"

On two occasions, my former co -author, the highly regarded bullying expert Barbara Coloroso, made sexual advances towards me - one verbal and the other physical. In one of the incidences she bragged to me that she had seduced a gay Canadian Olympian, after she taught him how to kayak. Based on her aggressiveness with me I am sure we were not the only ones she harassed. She is in the same category as Trump, Roger Ailes, Bill O’Reilly and Bill Cosby pathetic predators.

After I rejected her physical advance, Coloroso started a campaign to discredit me, enlisting The Workplace Bullying Institute’s Gary Namie, the Toronto Star, and Google as weapons. I wrote a blog about my experience, but even now they continue to bully me.

My initial reaction was to expose what was happening to me and why. Almost everyone from whom I sought advice on this discouraged me from pursuing this course of action. Upon reflection, they were wrong, and I was wrong in following it. Rather I sought remedy through the legal process. Legally I won, but emotionally I lost. 

Until the conclusion of the court case, through my books, including From Bully to Bull’s-Eye: Move Your Organization Out of the Line of Fire, and in articles and blogs, I gave people who are targeted hope. I am an expert on the topic of bullying, abuse and harassment, and had deep enough pockets to fight it. As I indicated earlier, emotionally I lost; and the tragedy of this is my inability, in good conscience to continue to give those who are targeted hope. 

The Weinstein story may have a good result is giving people the courage to come forward with what happened in the past and ideally exposing bullies and predators immediately after it occurs. 

This should also motivate organizations to provide their employees with ombudspersons to as a method by which they can seek advice and support on both report and seek recourse. As indicated in yesterday’s blog Human Resources just doesn’t cut it. 

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Human Resources – Part of the Problem or Part of the Solution?

An article by Claire Cain Miller in the New York Times about reporting incidents of sexual harassment in the workplace provides both a real picture of what has been happening and what continues going on, as well as some sound advice on what to do if you are ever a victim.

The culprit, other than the predator, is the Human Resources Department, who according to the research I have done for my book, From Bully to Bull’s-Eye: Move Your Organization Out of the Line of Fire, is part of the problem versus part of the solution in the majority of organizations. I fully concur that women do not report sexual harassment primarily because, as Ms. Miller points out, “mostly they fear retaliation, and for good reason, research shows”.

The suggestion that organizations provide an Ombuds person is one of the most effective ways for people to come forward. We should also note that this goes beyond sexual harassment. The same dynamics occur with other forms of harassment and abuse.

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FOXES IN THE HEN HOUSE

In the New York Times article by Jodi Kantor and Megan Twohey, Harvey Weinstein is exposed as a sexual predator. I wrote about this same dynamic when it happened at Fox Media. These lurid activities occurred within a culture of silence.

It is encouraging that Mr. Weinstein says he is working towards mending his way, admitting that it won’t be easy, in a carefully crafted statement. The good thing that could come from this is giving those who have been targeted the courage to come forward to expose these predators who feel they can abuse with immunity. Like Fox Media - there are more ‘Foxes in the hen house’.

The Times also discusses the internal board scrambling resulting from these latest revelations. The moves came as employees and business partners of the company voiced concern about sexual harassment allegations, revealed in a New York Times investigation. It begs the question, after going on for 30 years, and the executives and the board didn’t know about it, how far removed are they, and what else is out there that they don’t know?

Harvey Weinstein embodies a culture whose power is on the wane, as discussed in Ann Horniday’s Washington Post article. The sexism Weinstein embodies has been reflected in the ‘male gaze’ of Hollywood movies. But that gaze is beginning to wander.

In my book, From Bully to Bull’s-Eye: Move Your Organization Out of the Line of Fire, I explain how a toxic culture creates cover-ups and denials around sexual harassment. I also advise on what specific steps employees facing these horrendous situations can and should do.

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The Queen Bee in the Workplace

Olga Khazan’s updated article on women who bully, published in The Atlantic last month, is reflective of the dynamics I outline in my book, From Bully to Bull’s-Eye: Move Your Organization Out of the Line of Fire, where I explain how a toxic culture creates and supports bullying.

Women are often singled out as being difficult to work for or with, but the dynamics that cause this are based in fear, just as they are with men.

The way that these situations can be made healthy is for upper management to agree that the culture of their organization must adopt the ethic of reciprocity in all of their interactions with all stakeholders, especially fellow employees. This paves the way for the creation and sustainability of psychologically safe workplaces.

Author: Andrew Faas

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